I was reading an article titled “Training dogs and children” by Sarah Smiley today and it got me thinking back to my days of being a teacher.

I used to teach pre-k and I used to teach middle school. So my background is not only in dog training but it is also in teaching. I have a degree in education as I have always loved behavior.

Behavior in Kids

Way back in college, I discovered Skinner. He was a behaviorist. He was a scientist who focused on behavior and that kind of stuff. This is how I got my start in studying behavior and how kids worked. I found through teaching that kids really did act a certain way based on their environment and were actually pretty predictable.

For example, I set up my pre-k room in a way where kids could not run around. The furniture blocked their ability to run. I could simply step in front of the only “exit” of an area and stop a child from running out of the music portion. By putting a duck on the floor they knew where to line up. Very simple stuff to guide their behavior. I rewarded their behavior with stickers and free time.

Behavior in Teens

This does not stop just because a kids leaves pre-k. I continued this method in my middle school children. I switched rapidly from pre-k teaching to middle school. One year I was teaching pre-k and the next year I was teaching 15 year olds. However, I still firmly believed kids behaved the way they did because they did not realize they had other choices. When given choices, they could and would make appropriate ones.

It is important to realize, I worked with troubled “at-risk” teens.  I did not work with your “good” kids. The key here is to give them limited choices but to give them a choice you can live with and that is a real choice.

For example, I was called after the fact to a student who had gotten into a fight. The fight was over and he had to go to the office. This was not an option. I gave him a real choice at this point. He could either walk their freely with me or I could call the police and he could be carried down. Those were his options. At this point he chose to walk to the office. He agreed because no one else had put it to him that clearly. He did not realize staying was not an option. Other teachers where telling him what to do. They were not giving him choices.

Think about what happens if they choose not to do what you are asking, because there is always a choice. You always have a choice. If you do not go to sleep, you will be tired. If you do not eat, you will be hungry.

Behavior in Dogs

We try to force our will on dogs like we try to force our will on teens. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Like teens, dogs have a choice in whether or not they want to comply with our request. However, dogs cannot be reasoned with (well some teens can be reasoned with.)

For your dog to know what you want, you will have to be consistent. You cannot tell your dog to stay off the couch today and let it on the couch tomorrow. It will only confuse your dog. The same goes with your teen. If you let your teen stay out late tonight but insist your teen come home early tomorrow, you will confuse your teen.

Now, I am not saying your dog and your teen are the same. But I am saying you can’t expect anyone or anything to read your mind. If you want them to “behave”, then you have to be consistent in what behaviors are considered appropriate.

Bottom Line Consistency

The bottom line as a teacher, a dog trainer, and as a parent is to have consistent rules. Your students, dogs, and kids can only behave if they know what the rules are. Have the rules the same and never change them. If you can’t eat in the living room on Monday then don’t eat in the living room on Tuesday.